Post Vacation Musings

Vacations are great.  I look forward to my 2 weeks in Michigan with family every year with a great deal of excitement.  I just got back and this year could have been like every year before it, but it wasn't.

You know how it goes, you arrive - "I've got plenty of time to see everyone and do all of these really cool things!"

Then it's 2 days before you leave - "How... what the.. How'd it even get this far into vacation and I haven't done x, y, z OR that coffee date with Suzy."

I live 1,200 miles from my immediate family.  My husband's family is just as far away.  We very much adore our lives here in (amazing) Colorado, but it can be challenging.  Only seeing family once a year - showing up every year and things are just a little different, a little older, just enough to be noticeable in subtle ways.  Sadness as you leave, realizing it's going to be 320 days before you can get another in person hug again.  Then, you get home and hit the ground running.

This year I decided to do my vacation a little differently, less sad and more joy.  As Brené Brown points out, a common human experience is to forebode joy.  We feel happy and as soon as we realize it, we back out of that great feeling - worried that it will quickly and possibly sadly come to an end.  Just having an awareness of this phenomena (which I am SUPER guilty of sliding into) has changed how I experience small joyful moments in my life.  Allowing those precious moments to last longer, taking a beat to recognize when I am in fact foreboding joy.  In general relaxing into the everyday joy of life, not trying to avoid the highs and lows of emotion.

I've been practicing recognizing when I forebode joy.  Then, vacation with my family was upon me.  I knew this was the time to really practice recognizing when I was foreboding joy and lean into the moment.  Those little moments that really show the kind of people I have in my family:

- On the back of Dad's motorcycle - dancing
- Driving to work with my Mom - just talking
- Going to the movies with my Brothers - just being kids
- Sitting on the back porch, sipping coffee
- Getting in the freezing pool even though it's freezing
- Chinese food - with my best friend
- Seeing everyone smile

This year, those tiny moments would feel joyful, then I would start to feel sad.  I paused, accepted the sadness and miraculously that sadness left and a wave of appreciation for the moment emerged.  I am so grateful for those little moments with my family, they make vacations feel safe, secure, loved.

The goal is to take this practice into my daily life, so by the time next year roles around I can start to amplify my joy.

Relax into it.

What does all of this struggle and frustration teach me? Big question, little answer.

I am putting on a $10,000 event. It's kind of a huge deal. I'm bringing in a presenter team that is known around the country for their work in my field and for their work as spiritual growth leaders for my profession. I pursued them for a year and a half.

I got them. They're coming in October. And I have never been so frustrated in my entire life. It feels like one frustration after another has come up and I'm doing my very best not to burn this bridge (burning bridges is my superpower) and keep a cool head. I'm in this path of trying to find personal growth, a dose of enlightenment. And it's been killing me that I keep running into road blocks.

I keep catching glimpses of the lessons I'm meant to learn... "don't rush it" "keep the big picture in mind" "Breathing is necessary."

Then, I was listening to Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love  and he's basically talking about re-framing your experiences and he says, “What if this was a gift? What if this is necessary what if actually all this crazy stuff going on is an answer to my deepest prayer?”

That hit home for me in a big way. I've been trying to keep all of the things I've learned in the forefront of my mind. I've told several people, "I can't wait to do the next one, I've learned so much!" However, I'm not sure I'd gotten to the point of "THIS whole experience is meant to fall out this way. Relax into it."

That's my simple answer - relax into it. The thing is, I come to this same answer over and over and over and over and over again. But, each time I go a little deeper, understand it a teensy bit more than the time before. Sometimes that answer will flat out blindside me. It is, however, forward motion.

So, what experience can you relax into?

The simplest rule to improve productivity - The One Minute Rule!

What can you do in 1 minute?

I read and adored Gretchin Rubin's The Happiness Project.  If you've not read it, I highly suggest it.  The book documents Gretchin's journey to up her happiness - through awareness and effort.  She did bunches and bunches of research and then mapped out one year of activities to take her base-level happiness (which was at a very healthy level) even higher.

One of the activities she created early in her year was her One Minute Rule - if you can do something in less than 1 minute - DO IT!  Don't put it off.  Gretchin started with making her bed, a keystone habit (great place to start doing research on habit formation, by the way) that propelled her onto doing small changes that made her life a bit happier.

I do my best to live with this rule in mind.  I am a natural procrastinator and clutter easily becomes background to me; I don't see clutter after 24 hours.  This small but profound shift can easily spark me on to more and more productivity.  This little trick is how I get the dishes done - "I can unload the dishwasher in 1 minute - do it!"  Then,  I will automatically load, BAM!  The dishes are done.

My home is a little bit cleaner, a bit neater.  Then, when it needs to be really straightened up  I don't spend twice as much time cleaning (throwing away paper plates, putting my 17 ga-gillion coffee cups in the sink, all the little things that get under your skin).  I get to start off in a bit easier place, avoiding a week's worth of small bothers - no clean forks, knowing where the remote is, finding clean underwear... you get the picture.

Added bonus - my husband hates clutter!  Keeping this rule in mind helps create a calmer space for the man in my home who I happen to really like.  He notices that things are tidier and he's happier, more willing to do small household chores.  Win-win.

List a bunch of activities you can do in 1 minute.  Keep this list in an easy place and use it to take care of little things.  I suggest the front screen of your smart phone.  Every time you open your phone and waste time, you have the reminder (and option) to accomplish a small productive task.