This search was mostly in theory, making me feel good, like I was actually doing something worthwhile..... Truth is, I haven't been doing much. That is until now. Now, I am in earnest drafting bids for government contracting and I am nearly immobilized by fear.
"Fear of what?" I hear you ask.....
"I haven't a clue" is the simple answer. "I am afraid of looking silly and failing" is the more complete and honest answer.
In reality I know that no one outside of me cares if I look silly. Some nameless person will look at it, decide if it's what they want, and that is that. It is done. Supposedly, I will even get a call and they will tell me why I did not get the contract and how to make my next contract bid better.
In an effort to get over this fear I am going to do something I have heard a lot of guru's talk about:
Imagine the worst.
- The worst possible thing that could happen is that I could be black listed from all government contracts.
- This isn't actually that bad. I have never had one, therefore, losing that as an opportunity is not going to negatively effect me currently. It is a lose of potential income, not real income.
- I could lose the subcontractor position I currently have with a company I think is doing the government contracting in my area.
- I have no way of knowing this. I know the company I am currently subcontracting through used to win these bids, but I am unable to find proof that the company is currently winning them.
- If I were to lose my subcontracting position, well that would really suck. Plain and simple. However, I know of several companies looking for more subcontractors. It's actually very odd that I only work for one company. Most other people in my field subcontract with 3 or more companies.
- This would force me to subcontract with other companies, expanding my horizons, and force me to work a little more diligently in getting my own contracts.
- I could not get the contract and everyone would find out what a loser I am.
- Most people don't care. I have already crossed this bridge with bad internship experiences. I still came out of it alive and learned way more than I ever imagined. Plus, I still have friends, in and out of the field.
- I could win the contract and be unable to fill it.
- That's highly unlikely. The contract is for a large facility with what seems like one consumer who would utilize my services. Plus, they are looking to subcontract several companies to avoid this very problem. If I couldn't find someone to fill in, I could do it. I could do this even if it meant calling into my current subcontracting company. The company has a large pool and I could be easily replaced. The likelihood of not being able to fill a job is minuscule.
- I am in direct competition with other companies and that makes me nervous.
- The reason it makes me nervous is because of the atmosphere other companies have created. The companies hide behind their confidentiality agreements and have created a fierce atmosphere of competition that is wholly unnecessary. There is more than enough work to go around, period. That's something that I hate about my field. It should be a collaboration and one of my goals is to improve my field by creating a collaborative base for all of us to pull from. By being nervous I am perpetuating the thing and stereotype found in my field that I can not stand. Being nervous makes me part of the problem, not the solution. Now that is silly!
- I am a huge success.
- Everyone profits from this. I get to spread higher standards, employ my friends, make some money for myself, and create an environment I am proud of!
That's everything I can think of and really, it isn't as bad as I thought (obviously).
I guess that means I can move ahead, without much fear. Then, if it hits me again I can re-read this post.
I really need to do this more often. Writing it all out really helped clear my head. I think this should be a new habit for me.
Have you tried this technique yet?!
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