I know I am. I spent an hour trying to come up with something to write about. I decided a blog might be good to help direct people to this idea I had - habitstones.com. A shameless plug, I know, but I think it's a cool idea and it doesn't cost me or you anything if you go.... It's not like I even have a following on, let's see, .... Monday, April 22, 2013 at 7:52 MST.
Anyway, back to this whole fear of success conundrum. I'm not 100% sure where this fear comes from. I guess that's not entirely true. I am a middle class white female. I have a comfortable life. Short the 2.5 kids, I have everything I need - food, shelter, transportation, love, and (for the most part) mental stability. My resources are even kind of nice. I love my home, my car is in great shape, I eat whatever I want (yay food), I am 50% of a healthy marriage, and I only go crazy a few days out of the month.
That being said, why mess with a great situation... When you read a lot of 'positive books' (Positive Books Blog Post), for me at least, it brings about a lot of gratitude for my current situation. Like I said, my resources are nice. Positive books also urge you to do better, go for the dream. Which, is really nice in theory. But, it's damn scary. What if I leave this life and it doesn't work out, what if it does?!?!!? Eeeek!
One of the things that positive books make you contemplate is your dream, where you want to be in a year, five years, ten.... and honestly, what I envision is sitting on my parents back porch. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it's not exactly grand. If my parents didn't live 1500 miles away I would have that dream already. If they lived 5 miles away, that probably wouldn't be a dream anymore....
Beyond the back porch dream, I think what I would like next is more experiences. Traveling seems like an easy way to gain more experiences, but I would like to travel with my family and husband. Maybe move my family closer to me.... hmm, that seems like a decent idea, a solid dream.
So, I have success that means I get my family, which would lead me to feel more comfortable starting my own little family. I think that sounds like a plan.
Not too shabby.
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