Relax into it.

What does all of this struggle and frustration teach me? Big question, little answer.

I am putting on a $10,000 event. It's kind of a huge deal. I'm bringing in a presenter team that is known around the country for their work in my field and for their work as spiritual growth leaders for my profession. I pursued them for a year and a half.

I got them. They're coming in October. And I have never been so frustrated in my entire life. It feels like one frustration after another has come up and I'm doing my very best not to burn this bridge (burning bridges is my superpower) and keep a cool head. I'm in this path of trying to find personal growth, a dose of enlightenment. And it's been killing me that I keep running into road blocks.

I keep catching glimpses of the lessons I'm meant to learn... "don't rush it" "keep the big picture in mind" "Breathing is necessary."

Then, I was listening to Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love  and he's basically talking about re-framing your experiences and he says, “What if this was a gift? What if this is necessary what if actually all this crazy stuff going on is an answer to my deepest prayer?”

That hit home for me in a big way. I've been trying to keep all of the things I've learned in the forefront of my mind. I've told several people, "I can't wait to do the next one, I've learned so much!" However, I'm not sure I'd gotten to the point of "THIS whole experience is meant to fall out this way. Relax into it."

That's my simple answer - relax into it. The thing is, I come to this same answer over and over and over and over and over again. But, each time I go a little deeper, understand it a teensy bit more than the time before. Sometimes that answer will flat out blindside me. It is, however, forward motion.

So, what experience can you relax into?

The simplest rule to improve productivity - The One Minute Rule!

What can you do in 1 minute?

I read and adored Gretchin Rubin's The Happiness Project.  If you've not read it, I highly suggest it.  The book documents Gretchin's journey to up her happiness - through awareness and effort.  She did bunches and bunches of research and then mapped out one year of activities to take her base-level happiness (which was at a very healthy level) even higher.

One of the activities she created early in her year was her One Minute Rule - if you can do something in less than 1 minute - DO IT!  Don't put it off.  Gretchin started with making her bed, a keystone habit (great place to start doing research on habit formation, by the way) that propelled her onto doing small changes that made her life a bit happier.

I do my best to live with this rule in mind.  I am a natural procrastinator and clutter easily becomes background to me; I don't see clutter after 24 hours.  This small but profound shift can easily spark me on to more and more productivity.  This little trick is how I get the dishes done - "I can unload the dishwasher in 1 minute - do it!"  Then,  I will automatically load, BAM!  The dishes are done.

My home is a little bit cleaner, a bit neater.  Then, when it needs to be really straightened up  I don't spend twice as much time cleaning (throwing away paper plates, putting my 17 ga-gillion coffee cups in the sink, all the little things that get under your skin).  I get to start off in a bit easier place, avoiding a week's worth of small bothers - no clean forks, knowing where the remote is, finding clean underwear... you get the picture.

Added bonus - my husband hates clutter!  Keeping this rule in mind helps create a calmer space for the man in my home who I happen to really like.  He notices that things are tidier and he's happier, more willing to do small household chores.  Win-win.

List a bunch of activities you can do in 1 minute.  Keep this list in an easy place and use it to take care of little things.  I suggest the front screen of your smart phone.  Every time you open your phone and waste time, you have the reminder (and option) to accomplish a small productive task.

Ask 5 people - "What are my gifts?"

I enrolled in Marie Forleo's BSchool.  It was/is a marvelous, ridiculous, hella hard experience, but worth every moment.  EVERY MOMENT.

One of the exercises was to ask 25 people to describe what your gifts are.  TWENTY-FIVE!  I set up a SurveyMonkey and sent out 25 terrifying emails asking for three words that describe me/my gifts.  These 3 words didn't have to be 'positive' or 'nice.'  They had to be authentic and accurate.  I took the top 5 words and let them inform my decisions as I worked through BSchool.

The response wasn't 100%, but the answers were amazing, authentic, and breath-taking.  I couldn't believe some of the responses that were given.  It brought me to tears.  AND to top it all off - 5 people responded in under 10 minutes.  People were chomping at the bit to tell me what they thought of me.  It was a liberating experience.  It brought me up - even higher - than I already was.  Setting a benchmark that I wasn't even aware of for self-awareness and self-love.

I challenge you to do the same.  You can even start with 5 people, ask - "What are my gifts?"

Abundance already exists - learning to 'get it.'

I've been thinking a lot about abundance lately.  Just recently I realized that I already have an abundant lifestyle.  But, I hadn't realized it.  Or rather, I only realize it in blips of consciousness.

I kept thinking to myself "I need to do more money affirmations - I attract money in ways I never imagined."

Funny thing is, I've already done that!  I never imagined that I would be doing workshops and making money doing that in my 20's.  I DO THAT! I put on phenomenal workshops and now I've launched a 2 day EVENT!  An event that's going to cost me $10,000!  That's a crazy number, but it has never scared me.  I've collected under $1,000 for this event, but nothing about that bothers me.

I've already had the vision of being 'SOLD OUT,'  seeing people walk into the room - excited to be a part of this great event!  This event will be a wonderful success.  I know it, in a way that goes beyond a feeling at the pit of my stomach.  I no longer feel it actively, it's as if it's already happened.

It is a reality.  I have an abundant lifestyle.  WORKING to find that reality causes me to disassociate from the reality.  By creating 'abundance mantras' I was actually feeling the lack of.  So, I was projecting lack.  Just being aware of what I'm projecting - that lack - allows me to let it go and really 'get it.'  I've found this abundance in one area of my life.  The clarity here is, that the abundance isn't only in one area - it's my life's trajectory.  

The lesson for me here - live the reality and stop working to find it, it already exists.

What's your reality, what are you projecting - are they in alignment?

Where do you feel safe?

This is such an interesting question to me because it means to me the feeling of security.  That overwhelming sense of 'ok' to me.  How do I find that feeling of safe...

That feeling of safe starts in the top of my stomach and it radiates out.  It reaches into my limbs and finally into my face.  My body/muscles relax and I feel heavier and lighter all at the same time.  My jaw is the last place in my body to relax.  I know that I am in a good place when I can feel my jaw relax.  That's usually followed promptly by a yawn (one of the ways the body releases pent up energy). 

If I'm not paying attention a funny thing happens.  I start the process of feeling safe -but the feeling never fully manifests in me.  I feel relaxed, but not completely.  There's a current of unease that doesn't go away and I'm not even aware of it, but I find myself thinking about all the problems of my world - family troubles, a friend's love life, etc.  My mind gets away from me and I don't fully realize it until I feel  my body tense up.  Then, I have to start all over again.

I know this is a common experience.  So, as I begin the process of self-awareness I catch this last drop of safety (a relaxed jaw) being held out of reach and then I decide - let it happen. I let it drop, my jaw relaxes, I yawn - I am safe.

I used to find this safety only at home.  Now, the more I practice finding a safe feeling, I can do it in other places.  Now, I can find that safety in the car after a long day, stressful experience, or when I'm hot because the inside of my car is a jillion degrees and there's frozen food in my trunk.  I can find it while I'm working if the subject matter is getting at my subconscious. It's a practice - feel safe.

Where do you feel safe? What does that feel like?

Thoughts for Sunday Morning

I was invited to one of my closest friend's Baby Dedication this morning.  I wanted to go for her, but I didn't want to go because I enjoy my leisurely Sunday mornings, I tend to get a lot of work or fun done.

I missed it.  I missed it because I wasn't paying attention (and maybe my subconcious orchestrated the leisurely Sunday I was hoping for....).  I relied on my phone to update with Daylight Savings Time and for whatever reason it did not.  Now, I feel like a real jerk.  Like, A HUGE JERK.  I missed something that was important for a person who is important in my life.

I paced around the house swearing up a streak as I realized it was 10:30 and not 9:30, so the event had started over half an hour ago.....

I stopped myself and said, "That's it.  You will explain what happened to your friend, she will be hurt, but will understand and forgive you.  Work on forgiving yourself."

I walked to my husband, kissed him and silently apologized for angry ranting for the past 10 minutes, made breakfast, and sat down with Super Soul Sunday - looking for some inspiration.

As always, I found it almost instantly and here are the notes I wrote in my journal from this morning.

March 9, 2014

"Reserve your energy for your highest and best use."  - Bishop T.D. Jakes

Breathe in the discomfort, allow it to be.  Don't judge it, recognize it and acknowledge it.  Be grateful for the experience, it is leading you to the next step.  - Self Talk

"Contracted Awareness

 Expanded Awareness   ->  ME, some of the time

 Pure Awareness"   - Deepak Chopra

"We are star dust."  - Deepak Chopra

"The space between thoughts is the soul.  Turn inward and bring your awareness to the 'listener' - that is the soul."  - Deepak Chopra

"We live in a culture of scarcity."  - Brene Brown

"I am enough."  - Brene Brown

Learning to drop my 20 ton shield has transformed my marriage, it's a practice.  Thank you.  - Self Talk

"Faking it is contagious."  - Brene Brown

"When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding. [...] We dress rehearse tragedy, so we can beat vulnerability to the punch."  - Brene Brown

"Gratitude is a practice, not an attitude"  - Brene Brown

Ask your husband what you do when he thinks you are in uncertainty. - Question posed.

My journal is written with multi-colored pens,  I think it helps me focus on each point as it comes to me and inspires me.  I think today was a message and practice of self-love and forgiveness.  I messed up, yes, but I used my time to create more joy and understanding in my life.  

I choose (even though it's super hard at the moment) to let it go and use my day to best serve my goals.

Grieving and Forgiveness!

In an effort to live a more wholehearted life and manifest more love and maybe some Brene Brown friendship ;-) I am taking an online eCourse she is facilitating, based on her book "The Gifts of Imperfection."

The course is 6 weeks long and has 3 live Q&A's.  I've yet to catch one live, but the last Q&A is what I watched today.  It hit me really hard and opened me up!  I have very few regrets/grudges in my life.  But, the ones I do have are pretty major and create some hectic self talk.

"For forgiveness to happen, something must die." & "What had to die was the expectation that this person wouldn't hurt me."
- Brene Brown

Holy WOW!!

I had to, had to pause the video, grab my art journal and use those pages I accidentally skipped (there are no real mistakes, are there?!) to make what is pictured below.

Simply realizing that I was grieving my expectation of failure in the relationship really made me INSTANTLY move beyond the biggest hurtles I was holding onto.

I really want to make this whole entry bold, italicized, underlined, and HUGE font - it hit me that hard!

Then, I posted the page to Twitter (@FacilitatGrowth).  I knew I had to because the thought of sharing and not sharing it made my stomach roll in fear.  So, I did and it got FAVORITED!! I've never had a re-tweet or favorite at this time, so having 2 within an hour of posting this picture really gave me a boost.

Any-who, hopefully, this illuminates and speaks to you a fraction of the way it did to me!

LOVE!
~Shannon