Ask 5 people - "What are my gifts?"

I enrolled in Marie Forleo's BSchool.  It was/is a marvelous, ridiculous, hella hard experience, but worth every moment.  EVERY MOMENT.

One of the exercises was to ask 25 people to describe what your gifts are.  TWENTY-FIVE!  I set up a SurveyMonkey and sent out 25 terrifying emails asking for three words that describe me/my gifts.  These 3 words didn't have to be 'positive' or 'nice.'  They had to be authentic and accurate.  I took the top 5 words and let them inform my decisions as I worked through BSchool.

The response wasn't 100%, but the answers were amazing, authentic, and breath-taking.  I couldn't believe some of the responses that were given.  It brought me to tears.  AND to top it all off - 5 people responded in under 10 minutes.  People were chomping at the bit to tell me what they thought of me.  It was a liberating experience.  It brought me up - even higher - than I already was.  Setting a benchmark that I wasn't even aware of for self-awareness and self-love.

I challenge you to do the same.  You can even start with 5 people, ask - "What are my gifts?"

Abundance already exists - learning to 'get it.'

I've been thinking a lot about abundance lately.  Just recently I realized that I already have an abundant lifestyle.  But, I hadn't realized it.  Or rather, I only realize it in blips of consciousness.

I kept thinking to myself "I need to do more money affirmations - I attract money in ways I never imagined."

Funny thing is, I've already done that!  I never imagined that I would be doing workshops and making money doing that in my 20's.  I DO THAT! I put on phenomenal workshops and now I've launched a 2 day EVENT!  An event that's going to cost me $10,000!  That's a crazy number, but it has never scared me.  I've collected under $1,000 for this event, but nothing about that bothers me.

I've already had the vision of being 'SOLD OUT,'  seeing people walk into the room - excited to be a part of this great event!  This event will be a wonderful success.  I know it, in a way that goes beyond a feeling at the pit of my stomach.  I no longer feel it actively, it's as if it's already happened.

It is a reality.  I have an abundant lifestyle.  WORKING to find that reality causes me to disassociate from the reality.  By creating 'abundance mantras' I was actually feeling the lack of.  So, I was projecting lack.  Just being aware of what I'm projecting - that lack - allows me to let it go and really 'get it.'  I've found this abundance in one area of my life.  The clarity here is, that the abundance isn't only in one area - it's my life's trajectory.  

The lesson for me here - live the reality and stop working to find it, it already exists.

What's your reality, what are you projecting - are they in alignment?

Where do you feel safe?

This is such an interesting question to me because it means to me the feeling of security.  That overwhelming sense of 'ok' to me.  How do I find that feeling of safe...

That feeling of safe starts in the top of my stomach and it radiates out.  It reaches into my limbs and finally into my face.  My body/muscles relax and I feel heavier and lighter all at the same time.  My jaw is the last place in my body to relax.  I know that I am in a good place when I can feel my jaw relax.  That's usually followed promptly by a yawn (one of the ways the body releases pent up energy). 

If I'm not paying attention a funny thing happens.  I start the process of feeling safe -but the feeling never fully manifests in me.  I feel relaxed, but not completely.  There's a current of unease that doesn't go away and I'm not even aware of it, but I find myself thinking about all the problems of my world - family troubles, a friend's love life, etc.  My mind gets away from me and I don't fully realize it until I feel  my body tense up.  Then, I have to start all over again.

I know this is a common experience.  So, as I begin the process of self-awareness I catch this last drop of safety (a relaxed jaw) being held out of reach and then I decide - let it happen. I let it drop, my jaw relaxes, I yawn - I am safe.

I used to find this safety only at home.  Now, the more I practice finding a safe feeling, I can do it in other places.  Now, I can find that safety in the car after a long day, stressful experience, or when I'm hot because the inside of my car is a jillion degrees and there's frozen food in my trunk.  I can find it while I'm working if the subject matter is getting at my subconscious. It's a practice - feel safe.

Where do you feel safe? What does that feel like?

Thoughts for Sunday Morning

I was invited to one of my closest friend's Baby Dedication this morning.  I wanted to go for her, but I didn't want to go because I enjoy my leisurely Sunday mornings, I tend to get a lot of work or fun done.

I missed it.  I missed it because I wasn't paying attention (and maybe my subconcious orchestrated the leisurely Sunday I was hoping for....).  I relied on my phone to update with Daylight Savings Time and for whatever reason it did not.  Now, I feel like a real jerk.  Like, A HUGE JERK.  I missed something that was important for a person who is important in my life.

I paced around the house swearing up a streak as I realized it was 10:30 and not 9:30, so the event had started over half an hour ago.....

I stopped myself and said, "That's it.  You will explain what happened to your friend, she will be hurt, but will understand and forgive you.  Work on forgiving yourself."

I walked to my husband, kissed him and silently apologized for angry ranting for the past 10 minutes, made breakfast, and sat down with Super Soul Sunday - looking for some inspiration.

As always, I found it almost instantly and here are the notes I wrote in my journal from this morning.

March 9, 2014

"Reserve your energy for your highest and best use."  - Bishop T.D. Jakes

Breathe in the discomfort, allow it to be.  Don't judge it, recognize it and acknowledge it.  Be grateful for the experience, it is leading you to the next step.  - Self Talk

"Contracted Awareness

 Expanded Awareness   ->  ME, some of the time

 Pure Awareness"   - Deepak Chopra

"We are star dust."  - Deepak Chopra

"The space between thoughts is the soul.  Turn inward and bring your awareness to the 'listener' - that is the soul."  - Deepak Chopra

"We live in a culture of scarcity."  - Brene Brown

"I am enough."  - Brene Brown

Learning to drop my 20 ton shield has transformed my marriage, it's a practice.  Thank you.  - Self Talk

"Faking it is contagious."  - Brene Brown

"When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding. [...] We dress rehearse tragedy, so we can beat vulnerability to the punch."  - Brene Brown

"Gratitude is a practice, not an attitude"  - Brene Brown

Ask your husband what you do when he thinks you are in uncertainty. - Question posed.

My journal is written with multi-colored pens,  I think it helps me focus on each point as it comes to me and inspires me.  I think today was a message and practice of self-love and forgiveness.  I messed up, yes, but I used my time to create more joy and understanding in my life.  

I choose (even though it's super hard at the moment) to let it go and use my day to best serve my goals.

Grieving and Forgiveness!

In an effort to live a more wholehearted life and manifest more love and maybe some Brene Brown friendship ;-) I am taking an online eCourse she is facilitating, based on her book "The Gifts of Imperfection."

The course is 6 weeks long and has 3 live Q&A's.  I've yet to catch one live, but the last Q&A is what I watched today.  It hit me really hard and opened me up!  I have very few regrets/grudges in my life.  But, the ones I do have are pretty major and create some hectic self talk.

"For forgiveness to happen, something must die." & "What had to die was the expectation that this person wouldn't hurt me."
- Brene Brown

Holy WOW!!

I had to, had to pause the video, grab my art journal and use those pages I accidentally skipped (there are no real mistakes, are there?!) to make what is pictured below.

Simply realizing that I was grieving my expectation of failure in the relationship really made me INSTANTLY move beyond the biggest hurtles I was holding onto.

I really want to make this whole entry bold, italicized, underlined, and HUGE font - it hit me that hard!

Then, I posted the page to Twitter (@FacilitatGrowth).  I knew I had to because the thought of sharing and not sharing it made my stomach roll in fear.  So, I did and it got FAVORITED!! I've never had a re-tweet or favorite at this time, so having 2 within an hour of posting this picture really gave me a boost.

Any-who, hopefully, this illuminates and speaks to you a fraction of the way it did to me!

LOVE!
~Shannon

Blogging is hard ;)

So, I struggle with doing much on a regular basis.  Blogging not excluded.

Then I realized that one of the blogs I follow (Gretchen Rubin) sometimes has lengthy updates and SOMETIMES, it's not much longer than a Facebook post....

Here it goes, Facebook sized:

I am super excited about my upcoming conference in October.  I also just wrapped up my first book club and I know what book to do next (authored by the talented Gretchen Rubin, btw), I am always surprised by how easy and hard my marriage is, and last but not least.... The eCourse I am taking hosted by Brene Brown and Oprah is kicking my butt and making me take notice of more in my life.  I am pleased :)

Vision Board

Have you tried making a vision board?  It's harder than you'd think.  I made one in late 2012, while reading some great books about what visualization can do for your dreams.

I went to the library and grabbed a couple of magazines from the free/swap bins and came home ready to cut and glue my way to success.  First, magazines are full of junk.  Lots of advertisements that only sport logos and lots of text.  Don't these people know I am trying to create my dreams here?!  Second, glue sticks dry out... quickly.  Third, it's hard to put your dreams into a visual format when you're not super clear on what they are.

Nevertheless, I created something.  I proudly displayed it next to my desk.  I was well on my way to greatness!! 

Well, vision boards don't really work if you only make them.  It didn't help that I put it on my magnet board and almost immediately covered it up with other bits and pieces.  Now, if that's not my subconscious speaking, I'm not sure what is.  I was unclear on what I really wanted and I couldn't even place that fuzzy dream ahead of to-do lists.

Over a year later, I am talking with my good friend Teresa Powers and she shares that she was planning to do a vision board workshop.  "They don't work unless you do the self analysis first.  Vision boards aren't just pictures and glue sticks."

Needless to say, I jumped at the chance to take her workshop.  That workshop was.... AMAZING.  We did self analysis, guided visualizations, identified strengths and weaknesses, created action steps, and brought some awareness to mental blocks.  Only after doing all of that, did we start looking into creating a visual representation of the dream we were trying to clarify.

We also discussed why vision boards aren't magic.  They do not go out and do the work for you.  They do not grow legs and kick you in the behind when you're not going after what you want.  Vision boards are a great tool.  But, that's the key, they are only a tool.  Tools require an operator.

They also require energy, effort, and meditation.  I put a great deal of energy into mine and I look at it everyday.  I put away my old vision board, cleared the clutter from where my vision board was supposed to go, and even got it framed.  Now, nothing sits in front of it and it makes me smile every time I see it.  However, I have yet to really start meditating and visualizing with it.  That might just have to change today.

Here she is in all her glory.  What does yours look like?

What if Money Were No Object?

This is blatantly stolen from UpWorthy.

I think it's pretty awesome.

Alan Watts - What if Money Were No Object?  NorthStarNetworker.com

Perspective

Accidents have a way of putting the world and your own problems into perspective.

My cousin was in a car accident and while eventually she will be ok, it is still scary. A broken collar home, broken sternum (not sure I spelled that right), torn spleen, punctured lung, and internal bleeding. Her husband was driving and was T-bones, suffering from a neck injury. At first they thought he'd broken his neck.

Luckily their baby was with someone else. It was a freak accident. Some older woman blew through stop sign.

Stop signs have freaked me out twice thus far this morning.

Immediately, it puts your mind on edge, sending prayers and good vibes into the universe for them.  You're grateful they're alive, that the baby wasn't in the car. It could have been worse, her husband could be paralyzed.

Then, sure as the sunrise, morning comes and I'm overcome with my own concerns. I know that's a basic human response, but it sucks that I can be so self centered.

So, how does one keep that feeling of outward hope and awareness. Is it as simple as reminding yourself that this beautiful morning is a blessing?

Let's hope so.

Self Care

I feel silly, but I am debating on whether or not to take a summer college course for fun.  Not a serious, Philosophy and the Northern Gnat Fly or anything.  Maybe a ceramics or art class.  A photography course would be neat - I love to scrapbook, but I never have enough photos!

Here's the dilemma  if I take a course, even if it's not for credit I would be giving up the opportunity to pick up freelance jobs. Plus, I know I will be out and about for most of July, so it seems irresponsible to be gone for so much of the course.

However, other than the copious amounts of tv I watch, I rarely do something long term for myself.  Plus, I've never taken a class for non-credit.  The money (less than $100) is a non-issue because I feel like the enjoyment I get from it would make up for it, but the opportunity cost for other work is high.  The classes are in the middle of the day.

I should go and talk to the professor and my husband, get their input.

I think I might see if I can take it as an observation, then I can play without being a hindrance to the teacher..... I guess I want to do this more than I realized.

Self care is one of those things that everyone harps on in my field, but no one ever does.  It's one of the reasons I try and read for pleasure, just to distance myself from my work.  I wonder what others do to take care of themselves....

Practice Love

I was listening to an audio book today and the phrase "practice love" leapt out at me.

I've heard this before. Many times!  I try vaguely to implement this philosophy in my life but, today, I think it might have clicked.

Now, I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to hate anyone, anymore.  I was probably 16 at the time. Why expend that kind of energy on someone that you can't stand?  It makes no sense.  Today I realized that,  while I am successful in not hating a person, I continue to hate that persons actions or what I perceive their transgressions against me to be.

In other words, I don't hate Bobette, I hate the fact that I feel like s/he abandoned me and didn't help me in the way I wanted.  That jerk!  There are two people in my life that fall into this category.  One more than the other.  I have thought that I didn't care, but recently I realized that I am harboring some pretty strong emotions that are limiting me.

These limitations are now so strong, I can not ignore them.  These feelings, which are like poison, have managed to manifest themselves in my life and make me sick!!  I am considering not living up to my potential for fear of dealing with these people.  How crazy is that?!  All the while I know, at the core of my being, that these people did all that they knew how to do.  Without those situations, I could not be in this moment right now.  And my moments, my present state, is pretty awesome.

So, while driving and having my minor epiphany I told them that I love them.  It's pretty freeing.  The farther I am from that moment, the less exhilarating it feels to love someone, despite their actions, but it is still there.

"I love you Bobette.  I wish you all the best.  I love you."

Letting go is not the easiest trick in the book, but I think it might be one of the most worthwhile.

How's that for a Wednesday morning?