Communication & Work Style

It took me two years to finally get everything set for the launch of my first major training event.

It had taken me around a year and a half just to get the presenters I wanted to sign a contract and then to start the collaboration process.  I started with such gusto that it was a little hard for those around me to not strangle me as I set about crafting an event that would help propel my profession in an even better direction.  I was an excited and gung-ho nuisance to everyone I knew - whether they were involved in my profession or not.

The last 6 months have been an adventure to say the least, full of excitement, ups & downs, and challenges I couldn't even know that I would face!  I've learned so much about time management and deadlines that's its almost shocking.  I've learned even more about making assumptions about other people's work styles.  A talented leader in my professional community said to me (as she took office of my state chapter) "I don't believe in personality conflicts, they are communication and work style conflicts."  Dora is an accomplished leader and I look forward to more and more nuggets of wisdom.

This struck me in a very powerful way.  You see, at this point I had started to stumble a little.  Tripping on things I didn't even know existed.  Facing challenges I couldn't have known I would confront in such a new and exciting endeavor.

I've also done a lot to become be a better leader.  I've read books, man!  I was under the false impression that I wouldn't/couldn't be stumbling on these kinds of road blocks.  I should be rocking it out and everyone should be impressed. I already knew how reframing something can change your perspective, but taking a look at the challenges I was/am facing putting together this event, I was feeling a bit lost.  I was taking everything personally and just got stuck in a slow moving downward spiral of frustration and anger.

Dora is totally right, very few people set out to be disruptive or frustrating - and if that's truly their intent, kick them to the curb.  We all make assumptions about a collaborator's work style and communication preference.  It's all part of the human condition.  So, with that beautiful tid-bit in mind, I was able to refocus and reignite my passion for this wonderful event.  With this reframe in mind, I've started putting out the right energy and feeling all of that excitement again.

I'm happy to say that I'm selling tickets to the event and it looks to be a country wide gathering of leaders in my field.  And I did that.... with some pretty amazing help and wisdom.

Abundance already exists - learning to 'get it.'

I've been thinking a lot about abundance lately.  Just recently I realized that I already have an abundant lifestyle.  But, I hadn't realized it.  Or rather, I only realize it in blips of consciousness.

I kept thinking to myself "I need to do more money affirmations - I attract money in ways I never imagined."

Funny thing is, I've already done that!  I never imagined that I would be doing workshops and making money doing that in my 20's.  I DO THAT! I put on phenomenal workshops and now I've launched a 2 day EVENT!  An event that's going to cost me $10,000!  That's a crazy number, but it has never scared me.  I've collected under $1,000 for this event, but nothing about that bothers me.

I've already had the vision of being 'SOLD OUT,'  seeing people walk into the room - excited to be a part of this great event!  This event will be a wonderful success.  I know it, in a way that goes beyond a feeling at the pit of my stomach.  I no longer feel it actively, it's as if it's already happened.

It is a reality.  I have an abundant lifestyle.  WORKING to find that reality causes me to disassociate from the reality.  By creating 'abundance mantras' I was actually feeling the lack of.  So, I was projecting lack.  Just being aware of what I'm projecting - that lack - allows me to let it go and really 'get it.'  I've found this abundance in one area of my life.  The clarity here is, that the abundance isn't only in one area - it's my life's trajectory.  

The lesson for me here - live the reality and stop working to find it, it already exists.

What's your reality, what are you projecting - are they in alignment?

Where do you feel safe?

This is such an interesting question to me because it means to me the feeling of security.  That overwhelming sense of 'ok' to me.  How do I find that feeling of safe...

That feeling of safe starts in the top of my stomach and it radiates out.  It reaches into my limbs and finally into my face.  My body/muscles relax and I feel heavier and lighter all at the same time.  My jaw is the last place in my body to relax.  I know that I am in a good place when I can feel my jaw relax.  That's usually followed promptly by a yawn (one of the ways the body releases pent up energy). 

If I'm not paying attention a funny thing happens.  I start the process of feeling safe -but the feeling never fully manifests in me.  I feel relaxed, but not completely.  There's a current of unease that doesn't go away and I'm not even aware of it, but I find myself thinking about all the problems of my world - family troubles, a friend's love life, etc.  My mind gets away from me and I don't fully realize it until I feel  my body tense up.  Then, I have to start all over again.

I know this is a common experience.  So, as I begin the process of self-awareness I catch this last drop of safety (a relaxed jaw) being held out of reach and then I decide - let it happen. I let it drop, my jaw relaxes, I yawn - I am safe.

I used to find this safety only at home.  Now, the more I practice finding a safe feeling, I can do it in other places.  Now, I can find that safety in the car after a long day, stressful experience, or when I'm hot because the inside of my car is a jillion degrees and there's frozen food in my trunk.  I can find it while I'm working if the subject matter is getting at my subconscious. It's a practice - feel safe.

Where do you feel safe? What does that feel like?

Vision Board

Have you tried making a vision board?  It's harder than you'd think.  I made one in late 2012, while reading some great books about what visualization can do for your dreams.

I went to the library and grabbed a couple of magazines from the free/swap bins and came home ready to cut and glue my way to success.  First, magazines are full of junk.  Lots of advertisements that only sport logos and lots of text.  Don't these people know I am trying to create my dreams here?!  Second, glue sticks dry out... quickly.  Third, it's hard to put your dreams into a visual format when you're not super clear on what they are.

Nevertheless, I created something.  I proudly displayed it next to my desk.  I was well on my way to greatness!! 

Well, vision boards don't really work if you only make them.  It didn't help that I put it on my magnet board and almost immediately covered it up with other bits and pieces.  Now, if that's not my subconscious speaking, I'm not sure what is.  I was unclear on what I really wanted and I couldn't even place that fuzzy dream ahead of to-do lists.

Over a year later, I am talking with my good friend Teresa Powers and she shares that she was planning to do a vision board workshop.  "They don't work unless you do the self analysis first.  Vision boards aren't just pictures and glue sticks."

Needless to say, I jumped at the chance to take her workshop.  That workshop was.... AMAZING.  We did self analysis, guided visualizations, identified strengths and weaknesses, created action steps, and brought some awareness to mental blocks.  Only after doing all of that, did we start looking into creating a visual representation of the dream we were trying to clarify.

We also discussed why vision boards aren't magic.  They do not go out and do the work for you.  They do not grow legs and kick you in the behind when you're not going after what you want.  Vision boards are a great tool.  But, that's the key, they are only a tool.  Tools require an operator.

They also require energy, effort, and meditation.  I put a great deal of energy into mine and I look at it everyday.  I put away my old vision board, cleared the clutter from where my vision board was supposed to go, and even got it framed.  Now, nothing sits in front of it and it makes me smile every time I see it.  However, I have yet to really start meditating and visualizing with it.  That might just have to change today.

Here she is in all her glory.  What does yours look like?