Perspective

Accidents have a way of putting the world and your own problems into perspective.

My cousin was in a car accident and while eventually she will be ok, it is still scary. A broken collar home, broken sternum (not sure I spelled that right), torn spleen, punctured lung, and internal bleeding. Her husband was driving and was T-bones, suffering from a neck injury. At first they thought he'd broken his neck.

Luckily their baby was with someone else. It was a freak accident. Some older woman blew through stop sign.

Stop signs have freaked me out twice thus far this morning.

Immediately, it puts your mind on edge, sending prayers and good vibes into the universe for them.  You're grateful they're alive, that the baby wasn't in the car. It could have been worse, her husband could be paralyzed.

Then, sure as the sunrise, morning comes and I'm overcome with my own concerns. I know that's a basic human response, but it sucks that I can be so self centered.

So, how does one keep that feeling of outward hope and awareness. Is it as simple as reminding yourself that this beautiful morning is a blessing?

Let's hope so.

Self Care

I feel silly, but I am debating on whether or not to take a summer college course for fun.  Not a serious, Philosophy and the Northern Gnat Fly or anything.  Maybe a ceramics or art class.  A photography course would be neat - I love to scrapbook, but I never have enough photos!

Here's the dilemma  if I take a course, even if it's not for credit I would be giving up the opportunity to pick up freelance jobs. Plus, I know I will be out and about for most of July, so it seems irresponsible to be gone for so much of the course.

However, other than the copious amounts of tv I watch, I rarely do something long term for myself.  Plus, I've never taken a class for non-credit.  The money (less than $100) is a non-issue because I feel like the enjoyment I get from it would make up for it, but the opportunity cost for other work is high.  The classes are in the middle of the day.

I should go and talk to the professor and my husband, get their input.

I think I might see if I can take it as an observation, then I can play without being a hindrance to the teacher..... I guess I want to do this more than I realized.

Self care is one of those things that everyone harps on in my field, but no one ever does.  It's one of the reasons I try and read for pleasure, just to distance myself from my work.  I wonder what others do to take care of themselves....

Practice Love

I was listening to an audio book today and the phrase "practice love" leapt out at me.

I've heard this before. Many times!  I try vaguely to implement this philosophy in my life but, today, I think it might have clicked.

Now, I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to hate anyone, anymore.  I was probably 16 at the time. Why expend that kind of energy on someone that you can't stand?  It makes no sense.  Today I realized that,  while I am successful in not hating a person, I continue to hate that persons actions or what I perceive their transgressions against me to be.

In other words, I don't hate Bobette, I hate the fact that I feel like s/he abandoned me and didn't help me in the way I wanted.  That jerk!  There are two people in my life that fall into this category.  One more than the other.  I have thought that I didn't care, but recently I realized that I am harboring some pretty strong emotions that are limiting me.

These limitations are now so strong, I can not ignore them.  These feelings, which are like poison, have managed to manifest themselves in my life and make me sick!!  I am considering not living up to my potential for fear of dealing with these people.  How crazy is that?!  All the while I know, at the core of my being, that these people did all that they knew how to do.  Without those situations, I could not be in this moment right now.  And my moments, my present state, is pretty awesome.

So, while driving and having my minor epiphany I told them that I love them.  It's pretty freeing.  The farther I am from that moment, the less exhilarating it feels to love someone, despite their actions, but it is still there.

"I love you Bobette.  I wish you all the best.  I love you."

Letting go is not the easiest trick in the book, but I think it might be one of the most worthwhile.

How's that for a Wednesday morning?

No direction leads to more of the same

I am a strong believer in "what you think about, you bring about."

Basically, the more you think about something, the more it shows itself in your life.

In my life that means, for the last... oh I don't know.... six months, I have felt lost.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my life, I love what I do and the fact that I can watch as much TV as I want is pretty spectacular.

However, the more I thought about not knowing what to do has lead to more feelings of the same.  I decided to read more on the law of attraction/love, positive thinking, meditation, etc.  All the stuff you're supposed to do and care about as an enlightened person.  It's fun, I enjoy my library and the fact that Colorado is a pretty hip place with a wide selection of "positive books" as I call them.  I still feel/felt lost, if not much happier to be in such a lost place.  The audio books I have listened to have turned my drive time, which I have a lot of, into times of reflection and learning.  It's awesome, you should try it.

What do you do with all this knowledge?  I thought about writing a book about the books I've read.  A book about books sounds pretty cool to me, but I'm so easily distracted.  My 'book'  has about 5 pages and 16 chapters with nothing but rambling on a word doc on my desktop.  I even borrowed a book on writing books from the Library.  It wasn't bad, but it didn't capture my attention, which was both ironic and kind of sad.

So, I decided my new dream was to be successful enough to move my family so that they are closer to me so that way I can start my own family.  How does one do that exactly?  Become more successful?  Do you peddle ideas like mine (Habit Stones), do you write a book, do you play the stock market, buy homes and become a landlord, play the lottery???  I know for a fact working some job you hate wont get you there, because I did that for a short period of time and hated everything, ever.  Can you think it into being?

I've read a lot that says you can in fact think it into being.  "It" being success and wealth and such.  Which leads me back to clearing up the mind clutter I got going on.  Any thoughts or tips blog-o-sphere world and/or universe?!  I'm pretty sure it doesn't get fixed by watching more tv... folding laundry might help (as the dryer alarm goes off....again).

Maybe it is as simple as deciding that you/I have direction. Hmmm, "I have direction."  Just saying it in my head made me smile.  Maybe that's what I will try next.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Fear of Success

Anyone out there scared of success?

I know I am.  I spent an hour trying to come up with something to write about.  I decided a blog might be good to help direct people to this idea I had - habitstones.com.  A shameless plug, I know, but I think it's a cool idea and it doesn't cost me or you anything if you go....  It's not like I even have a following on, let's see, .... Monday, April 22, 2013 at 7:52 MST.

Anyway, back to this whole fear of success conundrum.  I'm not 100% sure where this fear comes from.  I guess that's not entirely true.  I am a middle class white female.  I have a comfortable life.  Short the 2.5 kids, I have everything I need - food, shelter, transportation, love, and (for the most part) mental stability.  My resources are even kind of nice. I love my home, my car is in great shape, I eat whatever I want (yay food), I am 50% of a healthy marriage, and I only go crazy a few days out of the month.

That being said, why mess with a great situation... When you read a lot of 'positive books'  (Positive Books Blog Post), for me at least, it brings about a lot of gratitude for my current situation.  Like I said, my resources are nice.  Positive books also urge you to do better, go for the dream.  Which, is really nice in theory.  But, it's damn scary.  What if I leave this life and it doesn't work out, what if it does?!?!!?  Eeeek!

One of the things that positive books make you contemplate is your dream, where you want to be in a year, five years, ten.... and honestly, what I envision is sitting on my parents back porch.  I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it's not exactly grand.  If my parents didn't live 1500 miles away I would have that dream already.  If they lived 5 miles away, that probably wouldn't be a dream anymore....

Beyond the back porch dream, I think what I would like next is more experiences.  Traveling seems like an easy way to gain more experiences, but I would like to travel with my family and husband.  Maybe move my family closer to me.... hmm, that seems like a decent idea, a solid dream.

So, I have success that means I get my family, which would lead me to feel more comfortable starting my own little family.  I think that sounds like a plan.

Not too shabby.

Positive Books

I use the phrase "positive books" to refer to a section in the library that starts with 158 (apparently that's applied psychology according to Mr. Dewy).  They include things written by Joe Vitale, Bob Proctor, Rhonda Byrne, Dr. Wayne Dyer, etc.  The list is near endless and it's less self-help and more - "be positive and get your poop in a group."

I like this kind of reading material because it just makes sense to me.  What you think about, you bring about.  So, why not think about things that are good, positive, and worthy of your time and energy?!  Ah, because changing your inner dialogue takes constant monitoring, because that inner dialogue has probably gone on unchecked for decades...

Alright, so knowing this, I started working on meditation.  That ... was not easy for me.  Still isn't.  Clearing my mind is like trying to... I don't know, get somewhere in a hurry.  The more you hurry, the slower you go.  It's amazing what I catch myself thinking sometimes.  And not that I am a negative person, I don't feel I am.  I simply say negative things as if they are fact. For instance, I catch myself saying "I'm not good at this/that" all the freakin' time!!  And I say that out-loud to people who don't know if I am or not and they accept it as if it is fact as well.  Most of the time, it's not that I am bad at something, I've never even tried doing it.  Knowing that it will be challenging causes me to blurt out that I am bad at it. What a waste!!!  It creates a new kind of laziness that I have settled into quit nicely.

So, new challenge - think "I can."

I'm going to try and do it all day.  I think one day will be easier than two days.  I have already made my bed, some coffee, gotten dressed - on a Sunday that's pretty awesome - and started my laundry.  I already plan to clean my kitchen and do some prep cooking.  Maybe even write another blog post.

All because positive books have told me to think... better.  Not too shabby.

Habit Stones

After much reading, I stumbled across Charles Duhigg's book The Power of Habit: why we do what we do in life and business.  This book fascinated me, who knew that most things in life are just habits....that are created without our knowledge?

I already know I am a visual person, if I don't see it... it doesn't exist in my world.  That's why my toothbrush and hairbrush sit out on the counter, so I can see them and say, "Gee, I should do that!"  I started kicking around ideas on how to make habits I wanted to form visual and give myself an easy reward to make the habit stick.

Then, a good friend of mind bought a house.  I was standing in the shower trying to come up with a thoughtful gift when I started to think how lucky she was.  She was in a brand new place with all new surroundings, so the visual stimulus to perform old habits was gone.  She could create all new habits in her home much easier than I could....

Then, it hit me.  Habit Stones.  If she had little jars filled with rocks, she could place these jars near a new habit she wanted to start.  Let's say the backdoor to remind her to water the new flowers she'd planted.  The jars stick out, not in a bad way, but they are different from her back door mat.  Once she sees the jars, it reminds her to water the plants.  Once she waters the plants, she can move one stone into her empty jar.

That little reward of moving the stone, will be enough to help her create a habit that could be in place for the rest of her life.  By the time she moved all the stones (maybe 50 of them) her habit would be set, she wouldn't need to move the stones, she would start to water the plants automatically.

I wanted to share this with the world, my brilliant scheme, so I created a website - habitstones.com where there are directions on how to make your own, or purchase one from me!

Creating new habits is key to improving your life.  What habit would you like to create?!